On April 22nd, during the Sustainable Living, Arts, and Music Festival, GreenWheels of HSU (formerly the Alternative Transportation Club) proudly unveiled the “Human Transporter II,” a product which will change transportation and the American city for the better and forever. If audience response at the product’s worldwide launch was any indication, 1st year sales figures for promise to be impressive, and the product’s impact will be revolutionary and widespread.

President and CEO of Green Wheels, Aaron Antrim, was introduced by Vice President for Marketing, Avram Pearlman, who called the Human Transporter II “truly incredible.” After he took the stage, Antrim detailed the history of the product, saying the Human Transporter II was developed after GreenWheels saw the promises of the Segway Human Transporter. “The hype surrounding the launch of the Human Transporter I was so intense because everyone realized that the Segway’s competition wasn’t very good.” This competition being cars, which he described as using a "4,000 pound piece of metal to haul your 150 pound ass around town." Such ludicrous inefficiency, Antrim said, creates a ripe opportunity for a better adapted product to be brought to market. Commuters want to save money, decrease energy use, and reduce greenhouse gas emissions, all without worrying about parking. City planners want to dedicate less space and expense to parking lots and roads.

Unfortunately, the Segway Human Transporter failed to deliver its promised revolution because of the original product’s high price and limited range and speed. Seeing this, GreenWheels saw an opportunity, and dedicated millions of dollars to develop the new Human Transporter II in a secret research laboratory beneath the library. “The product this talented engineering team developed,” Antrim said, “far exceeded all expectations.” With that, the product launch event was turned over to Christopher J. Rall, Vice President for Research and Development at GreenWheels.

Rall said the product the GreenWheels engineering team “has the same self-balancing features as the original human transporter, has a unlimited range, never needs to be refueled, is so easy to use that a child can operate it, works well and safely with existing infrastructure, is faster than the original, is versatile and can haul cargo, and is easily user serviceable and configurable.” As he listed off these engineering accomplishments, engineer Phoebe Morgon looked on proudly but seriously, and Richard Strauss’ piece “Also Sprach Zarathustra,” used as a theme in 2001: A Space Odyssey, thundered at increasing volumes. The dramatic effect of the music, however, was not as powerful as Chris’s statement that the Human Transporter II has a base price of only $20, which elicited cheering and shocked expressions in the audience. After the white cloth which had shrouded the Human Transporter II was lifted, the audience had the opportunity to ask questions and test ride the revolutionary product.

The Human Transporter II is available at several locations in Arcata including Library Bikes, Adventure’s Edge, Revolution Bicycle, Lifecycle, and the Outdoor Store. To the right is video of the revolutionary product's launch. More options for this video, including full-screen viewing, can be had by viewing the movie at the Google Video site.